Tuesday, November 22, 2011

An Epic Fall

It happened quite suddenly. I was running through a friend's front yard when my foot caught on a large stick. The grass jerked upward and the sky was falling. This didn't quite make sense for a moment until my back hit the ground, sending a plume of dead leaves into the air. The full weight of my embarrassing predicament came crashing down, obliterating my feeble pride.

I came to a stop after sliding for several feet and knew then that I didn't want to get up. Was it too much to ask that I simply die, rather than be forced to face the embarrassment? The rather depressing smell of damp foliage and humiliation filled my nostrils. Not a soul came to my assistance as I lay sprawled in a ditch, alone and friendless. I was tempted to just lie there, but I knew if I didn't get up soon somebody would start thinking I was injured, and that would draw even more unwanted attention to my unfortunate situation. Besides, we were late for ballroom dancing lessons.

I got up, laughing as if I thought my fall was the most natural thing in the world and did what everyone does after they've fallen in someone else's front yard; I checked to see who had seen.

My fears were confirmed. Yes, EVERYONE had seen.

I set to picking up the contents of the bag I had been carrying, as well as the remains of my shattered dignity. I wanted to throw the stick that I had tripped over (I still wonder if someone placed it there on purpose to aid in my demise) but I had a feeling that it would be a bit unsportsmanlike. After all, the stick had won fair and square. To make matters worse, Nelson and Cody set to re-enacting my little tumble, making sure to add dramatic flailing and piercing screams. I ignored them as best as I could and continued to the car, where my father was waiting to take me and my friends to dance class. I was unscathed except for my bruised pride and was later informed by my sister that it was the most epic fall she had ever witnessed.