During the concert, my mother was alone in the hospital.
She seemed to be doing well at the time, but she had no idea of the long road to recovery that lay ahead of her. Thecerebellar stroke would effect the days to come in ways none of us expected.
She discovered only later on that it had beencaused by a neck trauma from her most recent chiropractic adjustment.
She and my fatherwere to spend another two nights in the hospital. My sisters and I were to spend another two and a half days at the house by ourselves.
Thursday, March 8th rolled around. It was my sixteenth birthday and my aunt and grandmother had come to our house to visit and help out. We were all hoping that Mom would come home and were waiting for news. It was a long day for the whole family.
In the past few days, my world had been shaken by the sudden absence of my mother's strong support. I was unsure of what to expect of her behavior when she came home. It was late in the afternoon, almost evening, when my parents came home at last.
Over the next several months my mother struggled with intense anxiety and deep sadness. There was always the fear in our minds that she would never recover fully. We all wondered if she would always struggle with emotional turmoil. Her graciousness and Godly spirit were amazing to me. Even through the fear, she trusted in God. She constantly relied Psalms and prayer to alleviate her fears and calm her heart. She knew her recovery would be a long process, but neither of us understood how long it would take.
"Don't tell your mother this..." He began, "but I think it's going to take her a lot longer to recover than we thought. The doctor thinks it will take at least six months for her to function normally again and a year to be completely normal."
I never doubted the existence of God, nor that He was the God of the Bible. I knew He was omnipotent, omnipresent and omniscient. In that sense, my belief remained unshaken, but when I saw bad things happen to others and myself, I began to wonder if He really cared about us. I labored to understand what good He was working through this.
If you don't hold a solid understanding of the purpose of trials and suffering, it's easy to be taken down. Through everything you must remind yourself that God loves you no matter what happens and He your ultimate best in mind, through everything. If you don't believe that God allows bad things to happen for a reason than you won't learn from your trials, and every death, hurt or trial will be for nothing. Your faith in God will decrease and not increase as He intends. These were all things my mother and I have had to learn, are still learning now and we will probably continue to learn them throughout our lives. They are lessons that everyone (whether they realize it or not) must learn, though some choose not to.
The realization that God has total control of your life can be either the most frightening or the most reassuring and comforting thing you'll ever discover. For us, His children, that means we have the powerful, knowledgeable and loving eternal God on our side.
John 10:27-3027My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: 28And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. 29My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand. 30I and my Father are one.
Previous posts: The Stroke: Part 1, The Stroke: Part 2,
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