Monday, October 1, 2012

The First Kiss: Why is It So Important to Save for Marriage?

The kiss is a beautiful symbol of love shared by a man and a woman. Everyone recognizes that it is something special, however, lot of Christians disagree on when it should be allowed. Humor me for a moment while I explain my view and why I hold it.

Do I believe that kissing before marriage is wrong? Well, yes and no. I feel that it would be wrong for me. When I was twelve-year-old girl, I prayed and made a vow to God that I would save my first kiss for my wedding. I told him I would not allow a man to touch me in any inappropriate way.

I have often been mocked and looked down upon for my strong convictions. The weird part is that I get judged more for having high standards than people with really low standards. I'm okay with that. It's worth it. If I ever get married, I will be able to look the love of my life in the eye and say "I waited for you. I saved my heart and my physical affection for you. You are my first true love." I hope that my husband will be able to do the same for me.

If a young woman holds convictions like these, it will probably be a turn-off to all the wrong sort of guys. I believe that if a man can't respect the convictions of a young woman, and demands more physical affection, he is in the relationship for the wrong reasons and is honestly not worth her time.

Don't get me wrong here...I don't think kissing is wrong for everyone. I look at it this way:
The Bible says lust is wrong, right? Jesus says in Matthew:

"Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman [or man] to lust after her [or him] hath committed adultery with her [or him] already in his heart."

Lust is a lot more serious than most people think it is. It's not just some little sin. It's something that has poisoned hearts and wrecked families. God takes a very serious view of it, to the point of equating it to the physical act of fornication. That's big.
If you think you can kiss someone without lusting after them, than you make that decision on your own. Maybe a harmless peck is fine for you, and is your way of
showing someone that their special to you. Only God can see what's in your mind, and your intentions are.

Whatever way you look at it, a kiss is different from most types of physical contact. You can hug a person of the same sex. Can you kiss a person of the same sex on the lips without people thinking there’s something wrong with you? Hopefully, the answer is no. Why? It would be taken as a sign of homosexual affection. Yikes!
The kiss has an obvious sexual connotation. It may not be on the same level with sex, but it is something deeply intimate.

Our culture tells us that “Hey, a kiss isn't a big deal!” Think about it. Our culture also tells us that promiscuous sex before (and sometime after) marriage is also fine. The world’s standards are already very low.
I’m not telling you what to believe and I am certainly not judging you. I’m just saying, be careful! The world is deceptive and sometimes moral compromise can seem a lot easier than standing up for your beliefs.

I am not a moral authority. In fact, don't listen to me! Read the Bible and form your own convictions.

Above all thing, Pray! Ask the Holy Spirit to guide and protect you and heed His promptings. If you follow where God is leading, you can't go wrong!



  1. I agree whole heartedly with the part I could read . . . after the first paragraph it was formatted weird.

  2. I meant the format was weird . . . I don't know about the content, because I couldn't read it. : ) I'd sure love to be able to read it though.

  3. I decided a long time ago to save my first kiss for my husband on our wedding day. I'm still waiting for that kiss and still not regretting my decision. : )

  4. I'm so happy that you like it! I don't know why part of it didn't show up :( What kind of computer do you have? If you want I could send you the rest of it through another way.
    By the way, I've read some of your blog and I love it! I'm going to put it on my "recommended links" page. :D

    1. I didn't mean that it didn't show up, it just was all strung out in one long line like this:

      . . . .
      ; ) Maybe it's just a internet glitch or something. My computer is Windows7 and hasn't had any problems yet.

      Í would definitely like to read the rest of your article! You could email me the rest. My email address is on my blog under contact information.

      And I'd love it if you put my blog under your recommended links.

      Keep up the good work!

  5. I just noticed that you linked my blog to your Recommended Links page. I'm really grateful, but the blog you linked is an older blog that I'm not publishing anything new on right now. (Sorry, for some reason I can't seem to write on your blog with my correct profile, so you couldn't see my new blog.) Could you possibly change the link to my new blog? (I know some people don't like links in comments, so feel free to leave this comment unpublished if you wish. : ) Thanks!

  6. Hey Jensine (or should I call you Faye?)! I really like your post! I think any one who is thinking about or going to get married should really read this post, too. I also made a promise to God, a few years ago, that I would not kiss or "touch" a guy until marriage. I think a lot of people either forgot or just don't know how important it is to save your first kiss for marriage. Keep up the good work! Love your blog, too!

    Bella Hope
    P.S. I have a blog, too. But it is currently under construction ;)!

    1. Awesome! Please send me a link to your blog when you're done with it! :D

  7. Replies
    1. I'm sorry, you feel that way. What are your reasons? If you're interested in sharing them I'd like to learn.

  8. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. May I add my two pence (so many years after the original article is written)?

    I tend to think that kissing on the lips is not necessarily sexual. I've seen fathers kiss daughters or mothers kiss sons on their lips before, and while I am conditioned by the culture I grew up in to think it odd, I do not believe it wrong, since such kisses that I've witnessed are clearly not sexual.

    Therefore, I think that kissing on the lips before marriage is not, in itself, wrong.

    I agree with you that the question ultimately comes down to lust. Would I be lusting (having sexual thoughts/ feelings) while kissing my boyfriend/fiance? If so, kissing would be wrong. Would I have lustful thoughts while holding his hand? If so, I'd better not hold his hand.

    But in a different place, a different time, a different culture, perhaps I could indeed kiss him on the lips, as I would my sister, friend, or cousin in that culture.

    Does that make sense?

  9. Thanks so much for adding your thoughts. You make some really compelling points.

    I'm finally making an attempt to resurrect this blog. I have grown as a person in the past few years and I'll probably revisit some of my old topics. It's been quite a while since this original post and I think this topic warrants additional discussion (possibly another post).