Food for thought.
To the Young Ladies,
In every young woman there is a desire to be attractive. We struggle with a problem opposite from that of young men. Young men look with lust and young women want to be looked at.
Before our world was a fallen one, God put a desire in women to be pleasing to their husbands. The desire to be admired is not a sin in and of itself. It was meant for good, but like anything good in this fallen world, it can become twisted.
There are two extreme ways a girl can react to this video:
- A more tender-hearted, fearful woman can become terrified of men assuming that that all men are dangerous and that she should avoid them.
- A woman with a stronger personality may use the weakness of men to her advantage. She may flirt or dress in an edgy way to get attention or to feel better about herself.
Both extremes are wrong. The first girl gives in to the sin of fear and the second girl exploits the weakness of others for her own advantage. To be honest, I've struggled with swinging to both of these extremes, especially the first. I've been afraid to hang around guys and I was tempted by the lie that I had to dress a certain way.
Not all men give into their sinful desires. There are quality young men out there who are desperately trying to keep their thoughts pure. It's a battle against themselves. Don't make it even harder by choosing to dress in a way that is not Christ honoring. Your clothing needs to protect your brothers in Christ and give glory to God. Who you are in Christ and your desire to serve Him is the beautiful thing about you, not how much skin you show.
"Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness." 1 Timothy 2:9-10
You don't need to listen to the culture. Someday the right man will come and realize your inner beauty.
To the Young Men,
Before I watched this video, I was doubtful that there were any men who were fighting their sinful natures. It was a comfort for me to realize that there are warriors out there who are giving their all and fighting to protect themselves.
You may wonder, why would women choose to dress that way? Being a young woman, I can tell you, it's hard not to follow the trends. The world around me says, "No one will love you for you. They only want you for your beauty." We are told that by not following the latest fashions, we are ugly, unattractive and worthless. That is a heavy load for anyone to bear. You, the men of this world, don't make it easy on us. I wonder if girls would dress in inappropriate clothing if they didn't get results from you. You send a message to the girls who are trying to honor God that they aren't making the cut. It's a huge discouragement to us.
Brother in Christ, you are a warrior and the war you're called to fight isn't in the middle east. It isn't a political war or a physical war. The war you are fighting is a battle of the mind. It's not won by blows but by prayer, reliance on God and the aversion of your gaze. Keep trying. You can't do it in your own strength, but you don't need to. "I can do all thing through Christ who strengthens me" (Phil 4:13) is the verse that comes to my mind here. I don't know what your struggle is like, but I've had other thought struggles with different sins like fear. I would see something that would trigger a fear in my mind and I would have to force it out of my mind.
It may seem like an uphill battle, but every effort you make is pleasing to the Lord. Seek after Him and He's not going to let you fail. Your wife will appreciate that you saved your God-given desires and admiration for her.
My questions for you:
- Do you have your dad screen your wardrobe?
- Are you careful of what you wear or are you using the weakness of men to make yourself feel better?
- Are you trying as hard as the men in the video to keep your mind pure?
- Is this the battle you fight, or the enemy you surrender to?
I liked what Jordan Taylor said in his most recent Blimey Cow video: "Modesty isn't a girl problem; it's an everybody problem."
Guard your heart. No matter what the world tells you, purity is worth it.
Related posts: The First Kiss